The Procrastinator’s Guide to Getting Sh*t Done (Before You Give Up)

Let's be honest, we've all been there. You have a task, a deadline, and a full day to do it, but somehow you end up reorganizing your spice rack. Or staring at a wall. Or watching five seasons of a show you don't even like.

Procrastination is the ultimate form of faff. It's a series of unnecessary, unproductive steps you take to avoid one necessary one. It’s the mental gymnastics you perform just to end up right where you started: with the thing still not done.

But this isn’t a guide to becoming a "productivity guru." We don't believe in that nonsense. This is a no-frills, no-bullshit guide for people who just want to get on with it so they can get back to doing nothing.

The "No Faff" Method

This method is for the weary, the unmotivated, and the pleasantly grumpy.

1. The 5-Minute Rule

If a task takes less than 5 minutes, do it now. This is a cardinal rule of the anti-faff lifestyle. That annoying email? The dirty coffee cup on your desk? The one thing you keep telling yourself you’ll do "later"? Just get it done. The simple act of completing something, no matter how small, breaks the procrastination cycle and gives your mardy brain a much-needed win.

2. The Brain Dump

Your brain is not a storage unit. It's a sarcastic thought generator, and it's probably filled with a chaotic mess of to-do lists, half-formed ideas, and random anxieties. Get it all out. Grab a pen and paper—the more crumpled the better—and just write down every single thing you need to do, no matter how big or small. Once it's on paper, you'll feel a sense of relief. You’ll also realize that most of the faff in your head is imaginary.

3. The "One Task, One Hour" Block

This one is for when you have a big, daunting task. Instead of staring at it all day, just commit to working on it for one single hour. Pick one specific part of the task, set a timer for 60 minutes, and do nothing else until the timer goes off. No checking your phone, no "quick" snack breaks, no reorganizing the spice rack again. You’ll be shocked by how much you can get done when you just cut out the faff and focus.

Join the Movement

The ultimate goal isn't to be busy all the time. It's to be efficient enough to have more time for what you actually want to do.

So, stop the faff, follow our guide, and get on with your life. You can join the No Faff Collective and find gear that perfectly captures your "no nonsense" spirit.

What’s your go-to method for avoiding work? Let us know i

n the comments!